High Life Hero #7: Jesus Christ

We didn't know Jesus, but we bet if you threw a party at your place and invited him, he'd bring a 6'er of High Life. Probably even the camo cans. That's just the kind of guy he was.*



*We have no evidence to support this. At all. But you and I both know that evidence has never played a very strong role in religion, so just go with it.

Sometimes it does a man good to do the shopping...

Your Friday Fix. Too great to try to describe.

The Best Haircut Ever

I often get a haircut and feel like a part of my soul is missing.
Maybe I miss the the friendly banter of the barbershops of my youth. Maybe I miss being able to get a haircut for under $10. Maybe I miss having more hair on my head than my back...oh wait..never mind.

If only I lived in the now-mecca of Portland, Oregon. Because in Portland I could get the Best Haircut Ever. The visionaries are called Bishop's Barbershop, and every haircut you get is guaranteed to be the best you've ever had.

Check out the front page of their website where it says:

"choose from an a-la-carte menu of services that includes style, shampoo, blow dry, a variety of cut and color options, or even a hot towel shave, and a free bottle of cold Miller High Life is offered to those who are 21 and older."

Now you may say "I love High Life, but how does that guarantee a great haircut?" Well, I am a big fan of logic, so let me break this down for you:

A. High Life is the greatest beer ever.
B. Drinking High Life means you are living the High Life.
C. Living the High Life is the greatest time you will ever have.
D. Bishop's gives you a free High Life with your haircut.
E. Therefore a haircut at Bishop's will be the greatest haircut you will ever have.

That's High Life logic.

"But I live all the way over here in Delaware" you say? Well first of all: move immediately. But if you must live there, you are in luck. This article announces that Bishop's is looking to expand to the East Coast. Hopefully these places will pop up like Starbucks before long.

Go Meat!

In a word: Astonishing.

Consider this post part 1 of 2. The second will come once we've tried these. I can even give you an idea of what we'll say in the next post - "WOWOWOWOW - this is the greatest thing ever. Delicious. Incredible." You get the idea.

It's pretty safe to say that the good folks at Hillshire Farms are living the High Life. A brat with High Life built in is a fantastic idea. I've found myself eating a brat and thinking, "Damn, I could go for a High Life" dozens of times. But that's just one of many situations in which I've found myself wanting a High Life. Here's some others that will hopefully inspire solutions:

- At work
- Long car rides
- At a crap '$10 a beer' bar
- At a Yankee games
- On the beach in NY/NJ
- In the shower

There's countless more, and many of these I've come up with temporary workarounds for, but nothing that could be called a solution.


Big thanks to Joe Noodles for the tip on this one.

Otherwise...NO salad

One of our all-time favorites (all right...who are we kidding? they all are. still...)

Time For a Happy Hour

No unintentional overtime here...enjoy the weekend folks.

Gobble Gobble

With the ultimate family beer-drinking holiday upon us, this week's installation of King Morris' treasures was made specifically for Thanksgiving...and we'd like to give thanks for the High Life. Enjoy.

Service with a Smile

Happy Thursday.

Best. Bar. Ever.

The High Life Lounge in Des Moines, Iowa could be the greatest bar of all time. I can safely say that, and I've never even been there. I'll let the bar's own website explain why:

"As the name implies, the star of the show is a certain brand of beer and everything that it embodies. Miller High Life was a culture of its own in the 60’s and 70’s and its allure lives on today. The “Champagne of Beers” outsells two-to-one the next popular beer at the High Life Lounge."

I'm not making this up! A place this awesome really exists! I found it by searching "High Life" on Twitter one afternoon and haven't felt the same about my local watering holes ever since.

In addition to selling the crap out of some High Life, these guys also have a 'High Life Man' burger, which includes a beef patty, Italian sausage and bacon. That burger is all about living the High Life. It's only missing the big dollop of butter.

We're going. I can't say when, but we are. We'll take photos. It'll be incredible.

Even THIS Guy Has Some Common Sense...

Some chuckle-worthy news out of Golden Colorado, where a man came home to find an intruder had parked in his garage, was wearing his boxers, and tried to kick the actual homeowner out of the house - the intruder actually believing himself to be the owner.

Best part of the story:

"Police say he had spent most of the day at the residence, showered, did his laundry and even put a few of his own items in the refrigerator, including a six-pack of Miller High Life, according to authorities. They say three of the beers were missing and one was open and partially consumed.

Check out the full article here.

We're confident that the High Life he consumed was the only thing that kept this guy from going loco - proving that even the craziest folks can gain a bit of common sense from the greatest beer ever produced.