The Best Haircut Ever

I often get a haircut and feel like a part of my soul is missing.
Maybe I miss the the friendly banter of the barbershops of my youth. Maybe I miss being able to get a haircut for under $10. Maybe I miss having more hair on my head than my back...oh wait..never mind.

If only I lived in the now-mecca of Portland, Oregon. Because in Portland I could get the Best Haircut Ever. The visionaries are called Bishop's Barbershop, and every haircut you get is guaranteed to be the best you've ever had.

Check out the front page of their website where it says:

"choose from an a-la-carte menu of services that includes style, shampoo, blow dry, a variety of cut and color options, or even a hot towel shave, and a free bottle of cold Miller High Life is offered to those who are 21 and older."

Now you may say "I love High Life, but how does that guarantee a great haircut?" Well, I am a big fan of logic, so let me break this down for you:

A. High Life is the greatest beer ever.
B. Drinking High Life means you are living the High Life.
C. Living the High Life is the greatest time you will ever have.
D. Bishop's gives you a free High Life with your haircut.
E. Therefore a haircut at Bishop's will be the greatest haircut you will ever have.

That's High Life logic.

"But I live all the way over here in Delaware" you say? Well first of all: move immediately. But if you must live there, you are in luck. This article announces that Bishop's is looking to expand to the East Coast. Hopefully these places will pop up like Starbucks before long.